Just Some Tomb Raider Story
by amaratenou2002
Summary: This is a Lara and Kurtis fic. There's a better description inside sort of. But it's basically a humorous take on what happens after AOD.
1. Mr Trent

**I'm not good at writing stories; I've read all the AOD stories so far, which I love. You guys should be writers. Anyways, so, uh, I just decided to write a humorous story instead of an exciting full of action one. I hope you like it. I tried to do the character's personalities how I kind of imagine them, yeah.**  
  
*Disclaimer: I'm so cheap I don't even own a brain. ;) *  
  
Lara was sleeping peacefully in her huge mansion (her butler, Winston was also asleep in his own room), while Kurtis was carefully and quietly breaking in downstairs. He wanted his Chirugai back. Sure, he could probably ask for it back, but he'd rather do it this way.  
  
Silently, he stepped inside and checked his surroundings. Well, there was a counter and a huge white door (it's the freezer!) to his right. *Must be the kitchen. . Duh* He shook his head continuing on into the next room. There was a dining room to his left and a larger, emptier room to his right. *Right it is, I guess* Two staircases. He quietly ascended them.  
  
Up the stairs, he noticed three opened doors. *Might as well go check the closest one* He peered his head around the corner and saw the sleeping Ms. Croft. He scanned the room seeing her backpack on the floor. It was close by too. Silently walking over and picking it up he searched it. That's when he heard the click of a gun.  
  
"You," Lara said trying to sound more angry than tired. "Why are you here?" Kurtis held his Chirugai up.  
  
"Got what I need, guess I'll be going now." She grabbed his arm and pulled him back.  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"Well," he said with a smirk, "if you want me to stay that bad all you have to do is ask."  
  
"Oh, shut up." She jammed the pistol in the side of his neck. "Don't move."  
  
"Why?" She rolled her eyes at his stupid grin and just like that he was handcuffed to the bedpost. "This is kind of soon isn't it?" She raised an eyebrow not finding him funny at all. "Ok, I give."  
  
"Oh please, I'll deal with you in the morning." She went over to one of the chair-bed-couch-thingies by her balcony and tried to sleep. Of course, she spent most of her night telling Kurtis to shut up.  
  
**How bad is the first chapter?** 


	2. Kurtis Meet the Butler

**Ok, second chapter. I'm afraid of really bad this sucks reviews, but gotta take chances, right? **  
  
Neither Lara nor Kurtis had gotten much sleep. Being handcuffed to a bedpost didn't give Kurtis a good position to sleep in. Instead, he decided to annoy Lara, since she was the reason he was in handcuffs in the first place. Eventually, they both got a little sleep. Kurtis woke up at four in the morning to the sound of a shaking tray. Three hours later, his wrists were free.  
  
Breakfast was out on the table. "It's cold," Kurtis mumbled more to himself than Lara.  
  
"Then put it in the microwave." He shook his head; he didn't feel like walking around yet. There was that sound again.  
  
"What is that?" She didn't seem to be listening. "Hey!' She jumped. "What is that noise?"  
  
"The butler." There he was in the doorway, the butler. An old guy with a hunched back. Kurtis stared at the old man for a minute. It didn't look like he was moving. Lara must have seen the confusion on his face. "It takes him an hour to get anywhere. Yes, he's that slow."  
  
"Uh," the butler responded. Kurtis raised an eyebrow. "Uh, I made, uh, breakfast. UH! Who's, uh, that guy?" Lara didn't answer. "Uh, are you, uh, Lara's boyfriend?"  
  
Kurtis grinned and answered, "Well, I guess you could say-"  
  
"No! This is Kurtis Trent, he tried to steal something from me last night." Kurtis ran his fingers over the Chirugai resting on his side. He reached into the pouch on his belt and pulled out a cigarette (along with his lighter). He looked up and saw the butler was coming toward him.  
  
"Uh," the butler said. Lara got up and pushed the butler over by Kurtis. "Uh, hi. I'm the butler." Kurtis blew smoke in his face. "Uh, are you, uh, trying to hit on, uh, me?"  
  
"No," Kurtis scooted his chair back as he spoke, "I'm not gay. If I was going to hit on anyone, it'd be Lara." She rolled her eyes.  
  
"Uh, I'm much, uh better looking, uh, than Lara. I can, uh, tell you, uh, some of Lara's, uh, secrets."  
  
"Go on."  
  
"Uh, she and I, uh, got it on."  
  
Lara stood up knocking her chair over. "What?! Butler, go on, God." Kurtis shook his head.  
  
"She's, uh, one crazy nigga. I'm, uh, one cool cat with a big sausage."  
  
"That's disgusting and that doesn't make any sense you idiot!"  
  
"UHHH! I'm a rapper!" Kurtis walked out of the room and outside. Lara joined him ten minutes later.  
  
"Sorry," she said. "So, what all were you going to steal last night?"  
  
"I got what I came for." He looked at her from the corner of his eye with another stupid grin. "But, I might just stay a few more days and decide where to go next." *And maybe find some artifact I can grab from you before I leave*  
  
"You try to steal anything and I kill you." He smirked again; he was getting on her nerves. "You try anything and I kill you. How's that. Do not make me angry, Kurtis Trent."  
  
He scoffed, "Whoo, don't scare me now." She shook her head and went toward the garden maze. Kurtis heard the tray again.  
  
The butler's voice came out quiet and distant from inside the house. "Uh, Mr. Trench. Uh, Mr. Trench." Kurtis went after Lara. He entered the garden maze already feeling lost. Clenching a cigarette in his mouth he wandered around.  
  
Lara hit the button between two statues, rolled, and ran as fast as she could. She fell into a hole in the ground, running through the familiar dark tunnel without hitting a wall and climbed back outside. She sprinted through the garden maze without much effort, swerved around Kurtis, ran across her front lawn, jumped over the butler into the house and through the basement door.  
  
Kurtis dropped his cigarette on the ground and crushed it under his heel. He had a hell of a time finding his way out. He wanted to see what made Lara rush past him the way she did. Running out toward the house, he crashed into the butler causing him to stagger backwards a little. "Uh, Mr. Trench-"  
  
"It's Trent! With a t not a ch!"  
  
"Uh, Mr. Trench, uh ."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Uhhh .." Kurtis sighed and shoved him out of the way. He ran into the house, but it was quiet with no sign of Lara. He went back outside by the butler.  
  
"Hey, you know about this house, don't you."  
  
"Uh."  
  
Assuming that meant yes, he continued on. "Are there any secret things in this house? You know, like um ... secret rooms, you know like in old movies and shit."  
  
"Uh, there's a, uh, button on the, uh, back of the, uh, diving board. It, uh, opens a door, uh, with a switch that, uh, opens another, uh, door across from, uh, it."  
  
"Thanks." He walked away leaving the butler to slowly try to get back to the house. Kurtis wandered until he found the poolroom. There, he pressed the button on the diving board and sprinted to the main room. A small section of the wall to his right opened up, obviously not a timed door. After pulling the switch he turned around to see another section of the wall across the hall opening. It shut before he got there. He pushed the button on the diving board and decided to wait until he was sure he wouldn't get caught.  
  
Instead, he wandered around exploring the rooms until he heard a door open and shut inside the house. *Must be Lara, the butler wouldn't have gotten that far*  
  
"Kurtis," Lara called. "You're not breaking anything are you?" He came out on the stairway balcony and looked down at her.  
  
"Nope, I have to wait 'til you're sleeping."  
  
"In that case I'll have to lock you up somewhere."  
  
"Want to show me around first?" She smiled a little and walked up the stairs. Grabbing his arm, she led him to the attic.  
  
"You can stay here."  
  
"I don't know" -he was grinning again- "I might need you to stay with me, you never know what's in the dark."  
  
"Right."  
  
**I see the butler has an annoying person so there you go. I've written my own little strange stories about Lara and the weird butler in school. ^-^ Maybe you've noticed I use "and" a lot. I'm sorry; I try not to do it.** 


	3. Larson and His Goons

**I'm sorry I don't put to be continued or anything like that. So far, from what I've written there's more than six chapters. Thanks for the nice reviews I'll try to update it ASAP. ^-^ **  
  
Lara woke up in the middle of the night. She jumped, in a cold sweat from another nightmare about the events in Paris. Feeling around under her pillow, she realized the Chirugai was gone. Then she remembered Kurtis was sleeping in her attic. She stared out the window. *Why did I let him stay? I should have kicked him out when he came* the sound of smashing glass broke her out of her thought. Picking up a gun. She went out into the hallway.  
  
Kurtis was sticking to the wall outside the attic door, the Boran X in his hand. He motioned his gun toward the library. They could hear light footsteps cross some broken glass. Kurtis walked by the door with Lara following closely behind. Gun first, they both rushed in. Lara lowered her pistol.  
  
"Larson? What are you doing here?" Larson was standing by ten other guys that were stealing her books.  
  
Larson said, "My goons are taking you're books. Wanna help?"  
  
Kurtis said, "That's a dumb thing to ask. Who are all these other guys?"  
  
"My goons. Don't you listen, geeze. Who are you anyways? I've never seen you before. Has Lara betrayed me and got a boyfriend?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No! Stop telling everyone you're my boyfriend," Lara said. "Why are you stealing my books?"  
  
"I thought it'd be a good revenge for all the times you've shot me."  
  
"So you're stealing my books. That's not the greatest revenge in the world. Why not steal something more important to me." *'Cause he's an idiot*  
  
". I'm a hobo."  
  
"No, you're not. I know where you live." Larson screamed. Lara rolled her eyes. "This isn't a horror movie."  
  
"How do you know? There could be an audience watching us right now." Larson opened his eyes really wide.  
  
Kurtis said, "Ok. Who is this idiot now?"  
  
Lara sighed, "Larson."  
  
Larson said, "I was kicked in the head by a horse once." No one said anything. Larson attempted to make cricket noises, but sounded more like a high-pitched frog.  
  
Lara interrupted him, "What are you doing?"  
  
"Making cricket noises . Hey, you never told me who the new guy is."  
  
"That's Kurtis Trent, now leave."  
  
"I want to talk to him! Please! I'll leave afterwards! Please?"  
  
"Alright, hurry up."  
  
"Well," Larson spoke as he sat down in a chair, "my name is Larson. I'm a hobo on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. On Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturday s, and alternate Sundays, I'm a pirate. I have many goons and girlfriends."  
  
"And they're all retarded," Lara mumbled.  
  
"Shut up, Lara. Ok, tell me about yourself, Kurtis Trench."  
  
"It's Trent," Kurtis growled. "T-R-E-N-T! How can you confuse that?!"  
  
"It's a simple mistake."  
  
"Trent doesn't sound like trench. I don't want to tell you about myself anyways."  
  
"Why not? You might like me. Though I must compliment on your inability to shave."  
  
"I choose to look this way."  
  
"Sure, and I choose to be a hobo."  
  
"Larson, you have a house," Lara said. One of Larson's many goons came up to Larson with an armful of books.  
  
"We got all the books," the goon said.  
  
"Put those back! NOW!" The goon gave the books to Larson, Larson laughed evilly. Lara punched him.  
  
"OW!" Larson put his hand by his cheek. "Why'd ya do that?"  
  
"Put the books back."  
  
"Alright, geeze. Goons! Put the books back!" Larson's goons brought all the books back through the broken window. "But, you have to put them on the shelves yourself." Lara pointed her gun to his head. "Ok, ok! Goons, put 'em on the shelf!" Lara and Kurtis went back out in the hall.  
  
"Well," Kurtis holstered his gun while he talked, "I'm not tired anymore. You?"  
  
"Yes." Lara walked to her room.  
  
"Oh. Ok, then." Kurtis stood there for a moment thinking about what to do next. Lara's door slammed shut. He went downstairs, carefully examining everything (very carefully) in most of the rooms. He could hear Larson's goons running back and forth upstairs. Kurtis stood in front of the door by the stairs. *No doorknob must be a button somewhere. Outside, I bet* He didn't want to look outside now. Too dark. He walked upstairs into the library. A piano, a harp, and some stairs leading to where the books are. Larson's goons were still going back and forth through the window. Kurtis got an idea.  
  
"Hey Larson," he said. Larson was sitting on a chair watching his goons.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Want to do me a favor?"  
  
**I know the chapters are short, but I don't care.** 


	4. Thursdays Mean Pirates

Lara slowly opened her eyes and jumped at the clicking sound of a lighter opening. "Hey," Kurtis said from behind her. Lara growled and turned around to face him. He was standing by the door, leaning against the wall, and smoking a cigarette in her room.  
  
"Put that out. No smoking in my house."  
  
"Fine, guess I'll go outside then." He pulled himself away from the wall and walked out. Lara sat up.  
  
She sighed, "Shouldn't have let him stay." *He has to be so damn attractive, doesn't he* Trying to push thoughts of Kurtis out of her head, she went to take a shower.  
  
Kurtis put his cigarette out and walked inside the same time Lara came down the stairs. Larson came out of the library, Lara just looked at him. "Arr," Larson said. "Arr, morning to all ye. Ye be hungry; did any of ye make ye breakfast?" Kurtis raised an eyebrow.  
  
Lara said, "Larson, why are you talking like that?"  
  
"Ye be a pirate. Does ye have a problem with that? Arr."  
  
"I don't think pirates say 'ye' that much. Plus, you're confusing me with it, so stop."  
  
"Arr, ye can't stop. Today be Thursday, so ye has to be a pirate, arr."  
  
"I didn't say you could stay here so get out! NOW!"  
  
"But ye want to hang out with ye, arr."  
  
"No, get out!"  
  
"Lara, Lara," Kurtis said clicking his tongue in a tsk tsk fashion. "You're not very hospitable are you?"  
  
"I have an idea, why don't you both get out!"  
  
"I know you want me to stay. Admit it."  
  
"Please, your attempts to hit on me are so pathetic and annoying. Kurtis, you have to be gone by morning. Larson, get out." Kurtis walked away leaving the two of them to argue. He ventured off into Lara's room. A fireplace, a balcony, a connecting bathroom, and some door with a lock by it. He stood on the balcony and looked out onto the backyard. A training course was set up with a brick wall to block it from the rest of the world.  
  
"This is some place you've got here," Kurtis yelled to her. He heard her come up behind him.  
  
"Why are you in my room?"  
  
"Hey, I'm just looking. What? You think I'm going to steal your underwear or something?" Lara shook her head, not amused. "I'd rather take the girl."  
  
She smiled, "Well, the girl would have to shoot you first. Tell me, what happened to you when you took on Boaz?"  
  
"My little secret. Was a tough recovery though. Bitch did a number on me. Got her head chopped off for it too. You sure Eckhardt is dead?"  
  
"Yeah . yeah. I imagine some one else'll try to take over the world in their own little way again, however."  
  
"We can always stop them too."  
  
"I prefer to work alone."  
  
Kurtis scoffed, "You needed me back in Paris. I had the two shards."  
  
"I didn't need you, you just happened to be there with the items I needed."  
  
"Yeah I had them. You needed all three to kill Eckhardt, Lara. I had them and knew exactly what to do. You'd probably still be in that situation if you 'didn't need' me." They stood in silence for a minute.  
  
"Ok," Lara finally said, "fine. I needed you because you had the shards I needed."  
  
"Let's drop the subject. Why are you so against the fact that I'm in your house?"  
  
"I like being alone. Sleeping alone, working alone, and living alone." *Though it would be nice .*  
  
"I'm not staying forever."  
  
"I know that. You just- I don't know. Just shut up about it, ok."  
  
Kurtis sighed and said, "Fine. I'll be gone by morning. You wont hear from me again." *You'll be after me within a week at the most with my plan* He walked out into the hall where he saw Larson with his goons dressed like pirates. They were huddled in a circle on the floor.  
  
"Ok pirate goons, this is what ye all going to do," Larson said. "The treasure is somewhere in this house and all ye-" They stared at Kurtis until he left. "All ye have to find it. Or ye'll make ye walk the plank."  
  
They all said, "Arr," in response.  
  
"All ye will search the house, arr. Except ye, ye will search Lara's room, arr. Now get ye asses going." They all ran off and Larson headed into Lara's room. "Arr."  
  
Lara sighed, "Larson please, leave me alone."  
  
"Arr, what be ye problem?"  
  
"Larson, if you're suppose to be a pirate, why aren't you dressed like one?"  
  
"Arr, ye be head pirate. Ye doesn't need to dress like one."  
  
"Tell Kurtis to come back in here." Larson walked downstairs by Kurtis.  
  
"Arr, the Croft lady wants to see ye."  
  
"You mean me," Kurtis said.  
  
"Arr."  
  
"Ok then." When Kurtis disappeared into Lara's room, Larson went outside. He climbed up to one of Lara's windows with his goons down below to catch him if he fell. Kurtis went behind Lara, putting his hand on her shoulder and sliding it down.  
  
Lara pushed him away and growled. He laughed, "You didn't seem to mind the last time I did that. Before I stole your guns. So, what did you want?"  
  
"I'm sorry, ok. But you need to quit. You're getting on my nerves and soon I'm going to kill you."  
  
"That's not much of an apology. Why don't you just admit that you need me? You know you do."  
  
"Kurtis! Give it up!"  
  
"No you give it up, Lara! I'm sick of this shit; I'm not trying to pick a fight with you! But you just have to make a huge deal out of everything I say! I'm sorry, but if you're gonna be a major bitch to me, then forget it, I'm leaving tonight."  
  
**So much arguing. ^-^ It gets better, I promise. Oh yeah an d I know that was a few chapters back, but I hope no one gets offended about the butler calling Lara a nigger. It's not meant to be taken like that.** 


	5. Kurtis's Plan

**This chapter is very short. Sorry, I know all my chapters are kind of short, but I can't seem to make them any longer. Sorry. I'm lame. **  
  
Larson took his goons outside in Lara's backyard. "Ok, goons," Larson whispered, "ye have to cause a distraction for Kurtis, arr."  
  
"Arr," his goons responded.  
  
Kurtis stood in Lara's doorway, watching her sleep, absolutely clueless that she was dreaming about him. Silently, he walked over to her bed. He brushed some of her hair out of her face and she sighed in her sleep. There was a tap on the balcony. Kurtis looked up and saw it was one of Larson's goons. Kurtis gave him a nod and went downstairs.  
  
Outside, Larson handed out Lara's guns to his goons. "Arr, goons, when I say, ye start shooting stuff. Ye leader will take care of the rest. Arr?"  
  
"Arr," they all responded again. Larson waited until he saw Kurtis in the main room through the window.  
  
"Arr, now goons."  
  
Lara jumped at the sound of gunfire outside. She pulled her pistols from under her pillow and went to the balcony. She saw Larson with his goons. "Larson," she growled! "What are you doing?!"  
  
"My goons are trying out ye guns," he yelled to her. Lara shot at him. "Arr! Why did ye do that?" She jumped across the gap between her balcony and one of the ledges of her course.  
  
Kurtis pulled the switch in the wall and wasted no time running across the hall. He slid under the door just in time. When he looked around the room, he saw-to his left- a lit fireplace with a T-rex head mounted above it. To his right, four pillars had an object of some sort resting on each; a glass case protected each object. "Not from me it wont," he mumbled to himself. He quickly looked at each object. A dagger, a piece of gold, broken pieces of something, and a spherical object with a dark brown half shell overlapping a lighter brown half shelf that protected the red core. The two shells revolved around it in separate directions. Kurtis made his choice and lifted the glass case. Once the object was in his pack, he found the bottom that allowed him to leave the room. Outside, he located his motorcycle and took off.  
  
Lara had gotten Larson, as well as his goons, to put all her guns back. She heard the butler's shaking tray out in the hallway. "Uh," he said, "Uh, Lara!"  
  
Lara came out in the hall. "Butler, go on, please," she said.  
  
"Uhhh!"  
  
"What? Wait ... why is that door open? Where is ... Oh no!" She jumped down the stairs and into her secret room. The Iris was missing. Lara growled, "Kurtis..."  
  
**It's short, I know, and weird too.** 


	6. Finding Kurtis

**Ha, ha, this chapter is weird. I'll explain after though. You'll probably figure it out.**  
  
Larson sat in the backseat of Lara's car, humming. He had climbed in before she took off. She felt she didn't have time to stop and throw him out. She had to catch up to Kurtis. He couldn't have gotten far.  
  
Kurtis drove until he was ready to fall asleep. After checking in at some hotel, he threw himself on a bed and closed his eyes. He knew that if she wasn't already, Lara would be looking for him soon. Well, he hoped to see her again ... after he got home, maybe. "Maybe not," he mumbled.  
  
When the sun rose up, Lara decided it was time to find him another way. She looked at Larson and asked, "Do you think he went back home?" He just shrugged. "Larson, why don't you go find him; you always seem to be able to pull off finding people."  
  
Larson said, "My goons are already on it."  
  
"They are?"  
  
"Mm-hm." Lara raised an eyebrow; obviously he knew something she didn't.  
  
"Alright, Larson, tell me what you know that don't."  
  
"I just told my goons to find out where he lives so we could go live with him and not be hobos anymore."  
  
"Larson, you're not a hobo. But that's probably one of the smartest ideas you've had."  
  
"Being a hobo?"  
  
"No! Never mind!" Lara sped off back home. If she was fast enough she could do a background check on Kurtis and possibly get there at the same time as (maybe even before) him. And if he didn't go to his house, she could steal something of he'd have to come back.  
  
Kurtis was up by eight and checked out of the hotel. Time to go home for a while. He hadn't been home since the beginning of the Paris incident. What an odd, eventful time that was. At least he got to meet Lara. He straddled his motorcycle and took off. After buying an airplane ticket, he had to sit and wait twenty minutes for his plane. A young, blonde, pigtailed girl sat down next to Kurtis and decided to talk to him. He sighed.  
  
"Hi, I'm Tiffany," the girl said. Kurtis stayed silent, so she continued. "What's your name?"  
  
"."  
  
"So where are you headed?" She smiled like he was actually holding a conversation with her.  
  
". Utah."  
  
"Wow! Like, me too!" Kurtis groaned, but she didn't seem to hear him. "So, like, how old are you?" She didn't give him time to answer, which didn't matter 'cause he wasn't going to answer her anyways. She continued, "I'm twenty two and I was visiting some relatives here. This place is just, like, so neat. Don't you think?"  
  
Kurtis sighed again. *Why me? Some one please shoot me*  
  
Lara sighed," Ok, he lives in Utah. We have to get to Utah."  
  
Larson said, "But what if he isn't there?"  
  
"Don't worry . . . well . we'll find him somehow. He can't be that hard to find. We have to get a plane ticket. Come on!" She drug Larson to the car and threw him in. *Why am I bringing him again* As soon as she slammed the car door, she sped off.  
  
Larson said, "So why is this artifact thingy so important?"  
  
"Because it's mine," she said.  
  
"Are you sure you're not just trying to get another chance to sleep with him?"  
  
"Positive." *Why would I want to sleep with Kurtis? He's so stupid . and funny . and sexy . and- stop it* Larson said something, but she could only hear her thoughts. "What'd you say?"  
  
"I said I would. Why don't you want to?"  
  
"Larson, don't say that kind of stuff!"  
  
"Can I have him?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Can I-"  
  
"I know what you said," she growled. "That's not something one guy should say about another guy."  
  
"Well I'm open to all people, Lara."  
  
"Ok! Just don't talk anymore."  
  
A voice from the trunk said, "Uh, what about me, my nigga?"  
  
"How did he get in here?!"  
  
Larson said, "I stuffed him in the trunk while you were doing a background check on Kurtis."  
  
"Larson!"  
  
"Don't hurt me!"  
  
The butler said (trying to rap), "What's up my homie, nigga G. Uh, we can be just you and me. Uh, dancing all the night away, until your hair turns white and, uh, gray. Break it down now."  
  
Lara said, "That was gay. Ok, new rule, unless I say; only I can talk. Got it?"  
  
"Wha'eva my sista." Lara sighed.  
  
Kurtis got in his seat on the plane and sighed. He thought he was going to go crazy from that girl talking all the time. "Finally," he said aloud, "it's quiet."  
  
"Oh hey! Guess I get to sit by you!" He looked up. That girl, Tiffany was there. His eyes widened and he shook his head. "Isn't that just fantastic?" She sat down next to him and he groaned.  
  
"Don't you have a friend or something you could go sit by?"  
  
She laughed, "Nope, just you. You know, we could become really good friends. So, like do you have a family in Utah or are you just visiting?"  
  
"Visiting if you live anywhere near me." She laughed again taking it as an attempt to flirt with her. He turned toward the window, but she kept right on talking. He thought of all the possible things Lara could be doing right now. *She's probably stuck with Larson somewhere*  
  
Lara's car came to a sudden stop. "Isn't that Kurtis's motorcycle?"  
  
Larson said, "Where?"  
  
"What an idiot! Screw the airplane! I'm taking his motorcycle! Larson, take the car and follow me." She jumped on the motorcycle and found that he was dumb enough to leave the key under the seat.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"Old friend's house. He can get us there with both vehicles! Let's go!" Lara sped off with Larson behind her. He had her surprised; he drove well for how dumb he was.  
  
"And this is my little sister, Katrina," Tiffany said showing him pictures from her purse. "Isn't she just the cutest thing?"  
  
"Sure, whatever," Kurtis mumbled. The girl was making him tired. "Listen, I'm gonna try and sleep, it'll go faster that way."  
  
"Ok. I'll wake ya when we get there," she said with a flirty giggle.  
  
Kurtis rolled his eyes. "Yeah, thanks." He closed his eyes; instead of sleeping he ran through all the times he'd been around Lara. She was part of the reason he was alive now. He'd looked forward to seeing her again and didn't give up. Obviously, she wasn't happy to see him again. *Ah, she's just hidin' it, that's all* He fell asleep.  
  
"Hey," a female voice lured him out of his sleep. "We're here now." Kurtis opened his eyes to see Tiffany. "Gee, you slept the whole time!" He noticed everyone getting off.  
  
"I need to get off now," he said.  
  
She laughed, "I know that, silly."  
  
"Move." She moved still talking, but he didn't hear her. She was still talking even after they got off. "Bye," he said walking away.  
  
"Bye! Maybe I'll see you around!" She waved and ran over to a group of people, her family and friends. Kurtis walked out of the airport.  
  
Kurtis took his keys from his pocket and unlocked the door to his apartment. The whole place was messy, just the way he'd left it. He lay on his bed and sighed. He took out the Iris. "What the hell is this thing?" There was a thump noise, Kurtis whipped his gun out and pointed it at Larson.  
  
Larson said, "Sorry. I thought it'd be fun to come through the window." The door broke open; Lara pointed her pistol at Kurtis.  
  
"Alright, hand it over," Lara yelled. "Now!"  
  
Kurtis looked at Lara, then Larson and asked, "How the hell did you find me?"  
  
"I can do anything. Hand it over or I'll take your motorcycle as well."  
  
"You got my motorcycle?"  
  
"Now!"  
  
"Alright." He threw the Iris to her. She caught it and walked out. "Wait a minute!" He went after her. "Lara, stop!" She ran ahead of him, he sped up and finally grabbed her arm. "Stop."  
  
"What do you want, Kurtis?" Kurtis opened his mouth to say something when Larson ran up to them.  
  
"Hey Lara," Larson said, "some guy just handed me this through the window." He gave her a piece of paper.  
  
Lara read it to them, "We have you Butler, hand yourself over or he dies. Signed That Guy." She looked around, confused by the name. "Well, that's stupid, but we have to go get him."  
  
Kurtis said, "Why?"  
  
"Because he's my butler. He may be slow, but he gets some stuff done."  
  
Larson said, "Well, that's what you get for leaving him alone in the car."  
  
"I've got nothing else to do," Kurtis said, "I'm goin' with."  
  
"Me too! Let's go get That Guy!" They all looked around, confused.  
  
**The weird thing about this chapter is the motorcycle. I totally forgot all about it when he was on the plane and I figured someone would complain. So I thought maybe Lara could pick it up, but then how would she get it to him. Then I remembered in the first Tomb Raider how they got her in the jungle with the jeep, but I didn't mention it in the story. ^-^ I got to be more careful.** 


	7. Let's Go

**You guys want to know the biggest load of bull I've ever heard? The people that made the Tomb Raider movies said the games suck. Well, yeah there may be glitches and stuff, but without the game, Lara wouldn't be there, without Lara there's no movie. Don't you agree?**  
  
Larson, Lara, and Kurtis were in Kurtis's apartment. Larson said, "I think I know who-" he looked around, confused as he said the name "-That Guy . is."  
  
Kurtis said, "Well, who is he?"  
  
"He's one of my ex-goons. But, one day he was acting like a pirate . on a Monday!"  
  
". Is that all?"  
  
Lara said, "That's pretty lame, Larson."  
  
Larson said, "I like to keep my people organized!"  
  
"So what's-" she looked around, confused as she said the name "- That one Guy's name?"  
  
"I . don't know . Hmm, guess I never thought about it before. Oh well!"  
  
Kurtis said, "Do you know where this guy is right now?"  
  
"Well, the last time I saw him, was when I banished him to my basement until I forgot why he was down there in the first place . or died whichever comes first."  
  
"So he's ... in your basement ." Kurtis shook his head.  
  
Lara said, "How smart do you think Larson is? Ok, Larson knowing how . smart you and you're goons are, this should be easy."  
  
Larson said, "We'll have to stay here until I remember where I live."  
  
Kurtis said, "You forgot where you lived?" Larson nodded. Kurtis hit himself in the head. "Ok, ok. Larson, you sleep outside. Lara, you can stay in here."  
  
Lara said, "Larson start remembering where you live."  
  
Larson said, "Do I have to sleep outside? Can't I sleep on the floor or something?"  
  
"Yes, you can."  
  
"Hey," Kurtis complained, "this is my house, you know. Doesn't mean you can just come in and take it over."  
  
"Well I just did." Larson sat there and listened to them argue.  
  
Meanwhile, in Larson's basement, That Guy . had the butler tied to a chair. "Lara will have to give up now," That Guy . said. "Well either that or she'll beat me up and rescue you. Either way."  
  
"Uh," the butler said, "I'm a rapper."  
  
"Really? Ok, then make a rap about something."  
  
"Uh, what's up my homie, nigga-"  
  
"No, not that one. Something tells me you did that in the last chapter. Do something else."  
  
"Uh, ok. Uh, hey That Guy is holding me hostage; uh, would you like to see my sausage-" and so he continued on with is stupid rap.  
  
At night, Larson lay on the by the door (that rhymes) and slept, while Lara and Kurtis fought over the bed . sort of.  
  
"No! I'm not sharing the bed with you! Sleep on the couch," Lara said.  
  
Kurtis said, grinning, "This is my house, I make the rules, and I say you have to sleep on the bed with me."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"I'm not going to do anything to you.  
  
". Oh fine, if you'll shut up about it."  
  
"I knew you'd give in eventually."  
  
Lara rolled her eyes and said, "Of course. You're so irresistible." Kurtis grinned. "Don't get your hopes up. I was being sarcastic." She hit him softly with a pillow. "Go to sleep." She lay down so her back was to him. Kurtis lie down and put his arm around her. She growled, but didn't try to move him.  
  
Lara opened her eyes, she could feel Kurtis's chest against her back and his arm around her. Her heart pounded in her ears, but she didn't want to move. Kurtis shifted a little. Lara turned around to face him. "Morning," she said.  
  
"Morning. I'm surprised you haven't shot me in the head," he said.  
  
"I was thinking about it."  
  
He said, "I doubt it." She smiled.  
  
Larson said, "Are you guys gonna kiss? Can I watch?" Lara got up and went in the bathroom. Kurtis hit Larson. "What?"  
  
"Thanks a lot," Kurtis growled. "The one time she decides not to scream and yell at me you ruin it."  
  
"Well, sorry. I just wanted to watch." Kurtis growled again. Lara came out of the bathroom.  
  
"So," she asked, "when are we leaving?"  
  
Kurtis said, " As soon as Larson remembers where he lives."  
  
Larson laughed, "You guys. I never forgot where I lived."  
  
Lara growled, "Larson!"  
  
Kurtis said, "Larson, you're not talking like a pirate. I thought today was one of those days."  
  
Larson gasped, "Oh no! He's right!" He started crying, Kurtis grinned.  
  
Lara sighed, "Let's just go." She drug Larson out the door and Kurtis followed, locking the door behind him.  
  
When they got to Larson's house, they saw one of his goons standing in front of the door. Larson said, trying to be cool, "I'll handle this." Lara and Kurtis just looked at each other and followed. Larson walked up to his goon. "Goon 235, how are you?"  
  
"I'm fine, Larson," Goon 235 said, "but you know your rules. You need a password to get in."  
  
Lara said, "You need a password to get into your own house?"  
  
Larson said, "Well, a lot of my goons like to dress up as me to try and get in. But now they have to use a password."  
  
"They all live with you, why does matter?"  
  
Kurtis sighed, "Can we hurry this up?"  
  
"Tell me the password and you can in," Goon 235 said.  
  
Larson said, "Zwie-back." Goon 235 stepped aside.  
  
Lara said, "What kind of word is that?"  
  
"Hey it was in the dictionary."  
  
"I figured it'd be hobo or something similar to," Kurtis said.  
  
"Well it was going to be hobo, but none of the goons could remember it."  
  
"How many goons do you have?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know. They all come and go." Kurtis shook his head. They followed Larson down the basement. A child's play kitchen and chemistry set was set up down there. The Butler was tied to a plastic, yellow chair. That Guy . was listening to The Butler rap. Larson pointed a squirt gun at The Guy . and said, "Alright, That Guy ." confused look "give it up!"  
  
"I give," That Guy ... said raising his hands in the air. Larson untied The Butler and hugged him.  
  
"Ugh," Kurtis said sticking his tongue out disgustedly.  
  
Lara sighed, "So all we had to do was send Larson over here . Figures. Let's go. I wanna get home."  
  
Larson said, "I'll be there in a minute. I need to speak with the butler." Lara shrugged and followed Kurtis back upstairs. "Ok, butler, do you want to help me play match maker?"  
  
"Uh-uh," the butler said.  
  
"Well, fine! But we have to get Lara to let me and Kurtis stay over. Ah, screw it, we'll just go anyway." Larson took the butler upstairs; Lara and Kurtis were standing by a goon who was standing in front of the door.  
  
"Make him move, Larson!" Lara yelled.  
  
"Leprechaun." The goon moved aside.  
  
"Why do you have a password to get out of your house?"  
  
"So people can't just leave whenever they want," Larson answered.  
  
"But all your goons know the password," Lara said.  
  
"Can we just go?"  
  
"Uh," the butler said, "Larson and Kurtis get to come with us. Come on, uh, guys."  
  
"Ok," Kurtis agreed, "let's go."  
  
Lara said, "Now wait a minute."  
  
"No time. We got a plane to catch." Lara sighed.  
  
**Ha ha, I really did find zwie-back in a dictionary. I thought it was a funny word so I threw it in. ^-^** 


	8. Back at Lara's

They all came in the front door. Larson said, "Welcome back to Lara's."  
  
"I got dibs on Lara's room," Kurtis called, bolting up the stairs.  
  
"Oh fish sticks."  
  
"No!" Lara yelled. She fell on the stairs and tried to grab his legs, nut missed. She got up and went in her room; he was sitting on her bed. "Get off."  
  
Kurtis said, "I'll share with you."  
  
"I don't care. Get off."  
  
"You know you want me to sleep here."  
  
Larson said, "Lara, according to the 'Larson Handbook' your horoscope says you should sleep with Kurtis."  
  
Lara narrowed her eyes and said, "In what way?"  
  
"Both."  
  
"Larson, shut up."  
  
Kurtis said, "What's the 'Larson handbook'?"  
  
Larson said, "It's the guide on the rules and ways of living like a Larson."  
  
"What if no one wants to be like you?"  
  
Larson laughed, "Are you kidding? Everyone wants to be like me!"  
  
"I don't."  
  
"You don't count." Larson glared at him.  
  
Lara said, "Well, while you two bond, I'm going to put the Iris back." She left the room.  
  
Larson waited 'til he heard a door open, then turned to Kurtis and said, "You two should get together."  
  
"That thought had crossed my mind," Kurtis said with a grin.  
  
"I mean, I always knew Lara had a thing for me, but obviously she likes you better."  
  
"I don't think she likes you very much."  
  
"That's what the 'Larson Handbook' says. It also says you need to shave."  
  
"Gimme that damn thing!"  
  
"No!" Larson ran away with the book. Kurtis walked down the stairs just as Lara was walking out of one of her many secret rooms. The butler was still trying to get away form the door.  
  
Lara said, "What happened to Larson?" Kurtis shrugged.  
  
"Uh," the butler said, "Can I make a rap about you guys?"  
  
"No," they both answered. Larson could be heard trying to sing and play the piano, of course, he sucked at both. Lara shook her head.  
  
Kurtis said, "Lara, wanna show me your secret rooms?"  
  
"No, not really," she said without hesitation. "Wanna go tell Larson to shut up?"  
  
"Uhh . sure." He went into the music room; Larson was still singing and banging on the piano. "Larson, shut up."  
  
Larson glared at him and said, "Don't interrupt my singing."  
  
"I have to. You suck."  
  
"I bet you can't sing."  
  
"I don't want to sing. I want you to shut up and so does Lara."  
  
"Get Lara in here. I want to talk to her."  
  
"Whatever." Kurtis walked out into the hall and called to her, "Lara! Larson wants to talk to you."  
  
Lara said, "Alright." She went into the music room and called back, "Go talk to the butler or something." Kurtis sat on the stairs and watched the butler. He was halfway to the stairs.  
  
"Uh," the butler said. "Do you, uh, like me?"  
  
"No, not really."  
  
"Uh, why not? I'm a cool, uh, hip-hoppin' rapper with a big, wrinkl-"  
  
"Ok, ok. Shut up. I don't need to hear that. Can I ask a stupid question?"  
  
"Uh."  
  
"How old are you exactly?"  
  
"Uhh ." The butler stood there thinking about it for a while. Kurtis sighed. The butler finally answered, "Uh, I'm not sure. I can't remember when, uh, I was born." Kurtis stood up and went up the stairs. Lara came out of the music room; she walked toward Kurtis.  
  
Kurtis said, "You know the strangest people-" Lara interrupted him with a kiss. He just stood there, not wanting to give her a reason to suddenly get mad and pull away. He grabbed her arms, she was standing away from him and leaning so far in he thought she was going to fall. She broke off the kiss. Kurtis said, "What was the reason behind that?"  
  
Lara smiled and said, "I get $50."  
  
"What?" She laughed at him and walked away. Kurtis looked at Larson. "What?" Larson shook his head and went back to the piano. Kurtis followed him. "Tell me."  
  
Larson said, "I bet her, uh, . $20 she wouldn't kiss you."  
  
"I thought she said 50."  
  
"Oh. Oh yeah, I mean 50."  
  
"You're not very convincing." Larson just shrugged. Kurtis walked away to think about it. 


	9. Everlong

**This is my first song-fic thingie, so . yeah. Anyways, whenever I played Kurtis's part on AOD, I played the Foo Fighter's cd. When I heard the song "Everlong," it made me think of Lara and Kurtis so *shrug* I decided to fit it in there. If no one likes it, I'll redo the chapter without it.**  
  
Hello I've waited here for you  
  
Everlong  
  
Lara lay in her bed and thought about Kurtis. She never thought about anything this much. She liked the idea of having someone around and at the same time, she hated it.  
Tonight, I throw myself in too  
Out of the red  
And out of her head she sang  
  
Kurtis stood outside Lara's door, debating on whether to go in or not. She might let him in if he tried or she might shoot him. He didn't want to be shot, but he didn't want to stand outside her door all night either. He knocked.  
  
Come down and waste away with me  
  
Down with me  
  
"Come in," Lara called. She watched Kurtis come in and shut the door behind him from the corner of her eye. "Yes?" Kurtis couldn't say anything. Lara said, "I got you good today, huh."  
"Well, you surprised me. Especially when I figured out Larson didn't bet you."  
Slow how you wanted it to be  
I'm outta my head  
Out of her head she sang  
  
Lara looked away and said, "Bet that took you a while." Kurtis sat down next to her.  
He said, "Why don't you just admit you want me here? You know it, I know it- hell, Larson probably knows it."  
"Nah, he thinks I love him." He put his arm around her shoulder.  
And I wonder  
When I sing along with you  
  
She tried to pull away, but it was obvious to Kurtis that she wasn't trying very hard. He said, "Quit the act, Lara." She sighed trying to convince him, and herself, that she didn't like the feeling of his arms around her.  
If everything could ever feel this real forever  
If everything could ever be this good again  
The only thing I ever ask of you  
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when  
She sang  
  
Lara pulled herself away and stood by the fireplace. Kurtis sighed, "Why are you being so difficult?"  
"Because this is ridiculous," she snapped. "This . I-"  
"You just don't want to admit that we got something for each other. Can't you put your defense down for one day?"  
Breathe out  
So I can breathe you in  
Hold you in  
  
Lara turned to look at Kurtis. She just stood there when he came to hold her again.  
And now  
I know you always been  
Out of your head  
Out of my head I sang  
  
Lara put her head on his chest. She couldn't believe she was allowing him to hold her. She couldn't believe she was allowing herself to go along with it.  
And I wonder  
When I sing along with you If everything could ever feel this real forever  
If everything could ever be this good again  
The only thing I ever ask of you  
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when  
She sang  
  
Kurtis felt the top of her head under his chin, her breath against his neck. He said, "Not so bad is it? And all we're doing is hugging."  
Lara looked up at him and said, "Are you suggesting something?"  
"Maybe." She just shook her head, he was grinning.  
And I wonder  
When I sing along with you If everything could ever feel this real forever  
If everything could ever be this good again  
The only thing I ever ask of you  
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when 


	10. You're leaving?

Lara woke up realizing she was in Kurtis's arms. She studied his face. She smiled as she remembered Larson making a comment on Kurtis's "inability to shave." He opened his eyes. When he saw her, he smirked; she couldn't help, but smile back. "You're finally awake," she said.  
  
Kurtis said, "I'm surprised you haven't run off, or hit me, or something."  
  
"Me too."  
  
"Me too," Larson said. They just looked at him. "Hi, my name is Larson, I'm a hobo."  
  
"Get out of here," Lara said.  
  
"So what'd ya do last night?"  
  
Kurtis sighed, "Will you just go?"  
  
"I want breakfast."  
  
Lara said, "Go ask the butler to make breakfast. It is his job."  
  
"I already did," Larson spoke as he got up to leave, "and he's on strike." He left and went downstairs.  
  
"What?" She went out in the hall where the butler was, ever so slowly, pacing with a picket sign that said, "no rap, no breakfast."  
  
Larson said, "See, I told you."  
  
Lara said, "Butler, what's going on?"  
  
"Well, uh, you wont let me rap, so, uh, I'm not gonna make you, uh breakfast. It's that, uh, simple," the butler said.  
  
"I didn't realize I stopped you from rapping."  
  
"Uh . . . . . . No rap, no, uh, breakfast."  
  
"Ah, geeze."  
  
Kurtis said, "What's going on now?"  
  
"The butler is on strike," Lara answered.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Don't ask. It's stupid."  
  
"Alright." He put his arm around her waist; she pushed it off. He said, "What's your problem? I thought you were finally gonna accept the fa- "  
  
"For one day. That one day was yesterday and even then I didn't accept it and I don't now."  
  
"Yesterday? Yesterday you didn't even give it a full day. It was more like a few hours." He thought about what he said and grinned.  
  
"Wipe that smirk off your face. It was not a few hours. Don't make me hit you."  
  
Larson said, "Why don't you just marry me and shut up?"  
  
Lara said, "Who? Me?"  
  
"No, Kurtis. Well, . actually maybe we could all three get married."  
  
"Uh, I wanna get, uh, married," the butler said.  
  
Lara growled, "No one is getting married! Butler, go make food. Now!"  
  
"Uh, I'm not a, uh, slave, bitch hoe." Lara shook her head.  
  
Larson said, "Poor butler, so misunderstood and overworked."  
  
Lara said, "Overworked?! He's on strike! Ugh, what a horrible day."  
  
"It's only gonna get worse," Kurtis mumbled.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing," he said. Lara went down the stairs, yelling at the butler. Larson stood by Kurtis.  
  
Larson said, "Why did you say that?"  
  
"Say what?"  
  
"'It's only gonna get worse.' How come you said that? Can you predict the future?"  
  
"No, no," Kurtis answered. "I'm leaving today."  
  
Larson said, "Really? Why?"  
  
Kurtis said, "I have other things to do."  
  
"Like hoes and six year olds?"  
  
"What? No, not that way! Dumb ass."  
  
Lara said, "The butler is making breakfast now." The three of the, sat in the dining room and waited in silence. Lara thought Kurtis was acting weird. "Kurtis," she finally said, "What's with you? You're really quiet and you're usually as loud as Larson."  
  
Kurtis said, "Nothing. What's with you? You usually don't care."  
  
"Forget it then." After breakfast, Lara went out on her training course. Kurtis was acting weird and it was frustrating her. At the end of the course stood Larson. Lara sighed, "What do you want?"  
  
Larson said, "You seem really upset. Want me to cheer you up?"  
  
"Well, I really don't-"  
  
"Ah, come on. Give me one chance. Please?"  
  
"Oh . fine."  
  
Larson said, "Ok. I got a good joke for ya. There was a guy in a bar- no, no, not that one. Ok, I got it. Two guys were sitting-no that one sucks. Alright, a couple had just come to a hotel- no, that one blows."  
  
Lara said, "If this isn't going anywhere, then I'm going." She walked back inside. Kurtis was sitting on the stairs, messing with his Chirugai. He looked up when her shadow cast over him. She said, "Alright, what's up?"  
  
"I told you," he said, messing with his Chirugai again. "Nothing. What's your problem?"  
  
"You! You're acting weird." He didn't seem like he was listening. She took the Chirugai from him. "Now listen to me! It's obvious there is something. Now tell me."  
  
"Later." He took the Chirugai back. "I'll tell you later." She scoffed all insulted as he walked away.  
  
Lara sat on her bed next to Kurtis. She said, "Stop messing with that thing!" She took his weapon away.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Are you gonna tell me now?"  
  
Kurtis said, "Ok, ok. I, uh, . I wont be here when you wake up. I have stuff I need to do. So I have to leave tonight."  
  
"Where are you going? Why? Why do you have to leave now? Can't you stay longer?"  
  
"Whoa, whoa. Enough with the questions. . Start over. First question."  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Away. Next question."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I have to," he said. "Next."  
  
"Why do you have to go now?"  
  
"It's important. I've spent enough time delaying it."  
  
Lara said, "If you had to go, why did you come here in the first place?"  
  
"I needed my Chirugai. Plus, I was hoping to run into you again." She wouldn't look at him. He said, "Well, it worked didn't it? I got to see you. You must've been somewhat happy to see me. How could you not be?"  
  
She smiled, but it faded within a few seconds. "But you're leaving."  
  
"Yeah, but I wont be gone forever. I'll see you again. Don't worry." He hugged her and lightly kissed her on the cheek.  
  
Lara woke up feeling cold; she knew right away she was alone. She missed him already. *He'd be glad to hear that* She sighed to herself and got out of bed. Once she was dressed, she went downstairs to deal with Larson.  
  
**Disappointed? Don't be! Technically, it's not over yet. I plan to make a sequel once the new game comes out (possibly sooner, I have a lot of ideas!). ** 


End file.
